Compelled to ….blog.
I am now officially a blogger. I’m joining the ranks of those who write and as I enter this, my first post. I also officially have no idea what to write ab out. Before I began I had lists running through my head…things I had to get out. Why did I want to do this? Oh yes…preparation and experience
Preparation for the day I will change the world (how egotistical is that?) I really have always felt at I would one day do or say something…significant….and that I had better be ready when that opportunity arrives. Beneath all of my schemes, busyness, activity, I honestly do have an underlying mission ROCK the world, or at least a little portion of it. Somehow this need to blog seems to be a part of that (and isn’t it funny that I feel that need to explain that…to justify blogging. I think I am more explaining it to myself, as the fact that I actually signed up for a blog still seems absurd to me).
The other reason is that I just plain want to write. I loved it as a kid and was really, really good at it. Even recently, I ran across a pile of papers I had written in graduate school and read through a few and thought WHY do I not do this more. Some of it was garbage (hey, when you’re running on an hour and a half of sleep and two pots of coffee, you get to the place where you don’t care what’s on the paper as long as you have something to turn in) but some of it was pretty fantastic. Of course my favorite parts were the teacher comments (vanity, vanity) but the writing itself was just darn good. And I miss it. I’ve always wanted to write, and never made it a priority…after all it’s unlikely to make me any money. It’s therapeutic and cathartic as much as anything else.
I haven’t disciplined myself to write consistently since high school. Even when I do decide to attempt regular journalling (you know, every three months or so) I seem to acquire writers’ block in about 48 hours flat. Maybe I could be decent at this thing again…say something that means something…if I keet plugging away. Therefore I will blog.
I am also trying to journal personally as well…by hand. ..good old fashioned pen and paper. I think that actually using ink inspires creativity in a different way than the computer and screen. It is the kinisthetic aspect. It’s cathartic. Both are good, but somehow, I think different, so I am going to try both.
Writing prompts, inspiration from other blogs, thoughts about my crazy days. I am going to attempt to put it all down…and I’m going to try to do it in the morning (which in itself is quite funny as I am not a morning person. I wonder how long it will last).
So, I am a blogger. Compelled almost to be so. But here I am…beautiful, brave, becoming…and right now, late for work.
