Blah
Ah, the Sunday after Thanksgiving. As I travel each year, I’m almost always coming home on this day. Traffic is a bother, the weather is generally dismal. It is usually a blah day. Today is no exception. I’m uninspired and lethargic…and not in the good way. I’m just cranky.
This Thursday, I am being observed and evaluated by the head of fine arts in our district. I know it sounds ridiculous as I was just nominated for a prestigious award for teaching, but I am really, really nervous. I hate justifying everything –aligning the standards on paper, and doing all of the background work for it. Additionally, she has never evaluated me, so I am not completely sure what she expects. AND with my kids, you never know what’s going to happen. ARGH!
Again, I think I am just cranky!
Thankfulness
I am thankful for… (in no particular order and from a not very profound place…hopefully tomorrow I will be more reflective)
A job that is a “get” to go more often than a “have” to go
My dear circle of friends.
Hair bleach
Trader Joes marinara sauce
my laptop computer
Alka-Seltzer plus cold medicine
my amazingly profound eldest nephew
A niece who every bit as much spice as she is sugar.
my wonderfully compassionate second eldest nephew
my fantastically fun youngest nephew
Starbucks sugar-free cinnamon dolce lattes
orange paint
Target
movie musicals
bubble baths
this lip gloss in Illume
More Golden Apple thoughts
My Golden Apple Award nomination has been monopolizing my thoughts the last few days. I really shouldn’t let it, because I know my chances of winning are slim, but I have realized that the truth is that I really really want to win. I feel like I should have a well thought out reason as to exactly why I think I deserve to win more than others, and I do not. I just really want it.
So this weekend I will start the essay process. It will be TEDIOUS, and I will need to begin with some brainstorming, but I think if I spend the time I can write some really good stuff. I wanted to become a better writer, right?
I was doing a little research into Northwestern University, which is where I would have free tuition if I win, and the most intriguing coursework to me was a program called “Learning and Organizational Change,” and as I think the education world needs some serious transformation, it would be a good course of study for me.
Today I asked one of the fourth grade teachers at my school if she would write me a recommendation letter, and she got all emotional and said that she was honored to write it and that I really deserved to win. I still feel weird when people say things like that because EVERYONE in my school works so hard and truly loves our students…but it was, of course, nice to hear, especially from someone I respect so much (my p.e. teacher calls her “the perfect human being” and I think he just might be right.
SO, tomorrow I am off to Ohio. Yippee! I should probably begin packing at some point.
Happy Birthday, Karen!!!!!
Today is my the birthday of my beautiful, wonderful friend, Karen! Karen and I have been friends for a LONG time, since we began teaching together 12 years ago. I believe that our friendship is truly a God thing. Our meeting and histories are just too ironic to be coincidental.
I actually met K my second year of teaching…but before I get into that, I need to provide a little bit of background.
My first year teaching was actually spent in a teeny, tiny little town in rural Iowa where I was “shared” by two different school districts. I was very young, very idealistic, and I had a very bad year! Really, it was an uphill battle from day one. My superintendent was fired for sexual harassment, but was allowed to stay on because his contract allowed for it! My principal was a power hungry, unhappy man who barked at most of his employees, especially me because I was too scared to stand up for myself, and to top it all off, I had zero friends. None. I just did not fit into the rural environment there. I was so, SO lonely. I could not wait to leave. My parents came and literally packed me up while I was in school on the final day, and the next morning, we left town at 7:00 a.m. I have never been back.
Fast forward several months. I decided to give teaching one more try and had taken a job here in the Chicago suburbs. Music was being reinstated in my district after some lean years, so there were LOTS of brand new music teachers. The existing staff was so excited that they threw get togethers for us so that we could get to know eachother and them. It was fun, and we, as the new staff felt very valued. I was SO excited to meet people with whom I had something in common and to make some friends. I was MISS Friendly – introducing myself to anyone with a pulse and striking up a conversation.
It was at one of these events that I met Miss Karen, and we began to chat. If you asked her point blank, she might deny it, but I think she found my enthusiasm a little overwhelming! We talked about our respective universities, and realized that we’d both graduated from Christian schools, and then I asked her where she grew up. She told me Iowa, and I remarked that I had as well and proceeded to ask what town. The ensuing conversation went a little bit like this.
Karen “Oh, it’s really small – I’m sure you’ve never heard of it”
BB “Well try me”
K “Seriously…no one outside of the area has ever heard of it. It’s near (insert name of large city).”
BB “Wow, really! I used to live near (insert name of large city) ! Just tell me the name of the town.” Why are you being so weird about this?
K For the love! This girl is really pushy! Well it’s north of (said city) and it’s really tiny. I’m telling you you don’t know it.
BB What is the deal? Why doesn’t this girl just spit it out all ready?! Wow, that is amazing! My town was north of there too.. about ( ) miles!
K Oh all right all ready, give up. Well, you’ve never heard of this. It’s called (says name of town).
BB Shocked and incredulous silence. Chills.
K “See, I told you you’d never heard of it.”
BB “Is this a joke? Who told you to say that? Who put you up to this?’
K “Huh?”
So to make a long story – well – even longer, I had taught in the same tiny community where she grew up! Of course she was no longer living there when I was, but we knew some of the same people and both understood the dysfunctionality of the place, and had an awfully lot to talk about…and it was no coincidence!
So that is how God sent me Karen. We’ve been fast friends ever since, with all of the ups and downs and in betweens that that entails.
Karen has been my colleague, roommate, grad school buddy, and confidant. She’s served as medical advisor, workout partner, negotiator, and emergency room chauffer. Karen has offered fashion advice, boy advice, and work advice. I love her because she tells it like it is and lives it like it is. She is one of the most generous people I know, and one of the funniest as well. She the friend with whom I always get in trouble because no matter what the situation, we always have more fun than the situation calls for! Karen makes me a better, funnier, smarter person.
So here’s to you, Miss Karen! I love you and am so grateful that you were born on this day those few years ago and that God brought you into mine! Happy Happy Birthday!
The Haircut
I took the plunge. I got my hair cut and I LOVE it. It’s a medium length A-line bob and if I do say so myself, it’s pretty darn cute (of course I haven’t yet had to style it myself). She took probably six inches off the back but the layers in the front are about the same. I really wanted something modern, sassy, and chic. I would definitely say that this is, sass-a-frass. Yes, the flowy, layered, romantic hair is in right now as well, but a. it’s a lot of work to maintain (come on, 40 minutes to blow it dry and style. Pu-lease!) and b. I was tired of it–bored. I wish I had a decent camera and I would put a pic up but alas, no such luck. It’s a little bit Julia Stiles a la Bourne Ultimatum, but blonder and straighter (well today anway, and that is the goal), and with sideswept bangs. Yea me!
Golden Apple Award
I had kind of a cool thing happen today. Actually, it’s really cool. I received notification that I have been nominated for a Golden Apple Award. I have no idea who nominated me, but I am really moved, and as I write this, even a little tearful, that someone would a) notice that I am trying to make a difference and b) make the intentional effort to nominate me for such an honor.
To be honest, I don’t know a whole lot about these awards, but upon doing a little research, I am akind of excited about the possibilites that this holds. Winners receive a PAID sabbatical, unlimited coursework at Northwestern for a year, $3000.00, and a new laptop. I can’t even put into words what having those things would mean to me…someone would PAY for me to go to school AND I would still get my regular salary. The other things would be very nice. I would love a new computer and enjoy the heck out of the money, but what a special and amazing experience to get to go to school (and a prestigious one at that) on someone else’s dime while not losing a penny of my own. What would I even study? The options are endless. I love learning…I love history…I even like writing papers. (You may mock me if you like-I do not care) . What a gift that would be to me.
Make no mistake – I have no delusions about actually winning…there are many, many teachers far more deserving than I, and certainly who are better at the art and craft of teaching, but it is fun to dream, and again, I am so touched that someone would nominate me. I will definitely go through the process to see where it will take me.
Sola Dei Gloria!
La vie Boheme…(a little tiny rant)
Yesterday I had the lovely fortune of going with friend Karen to the Chicago Lyric Opera to see La Boheme. The sets were gorgeous, and the singing was magnificent. It brought back so many memories for me. ”Musetta’s Waltz” was the first “real” aria I ever performed as a young singer, and for several years, I emersed myself in all things Puccini. A career on the stage was my plan…la via boheme. But alas, it wasn’t to be, for several reasons…the major one being that, in reality, I don’t really want to live la vie boheme!
I hadn’t been to the opera for quite some time, in part because my tastes have changed, and partially because it is so stinking expensive (so I am even more grateful to my wonderful friend for this gift) and while I love the opera house, the music, the opera itself, and of course, the singing, I was very struck by the eliteness of it all.
This is a difficult thing for me to understand and justify about the art world. People are just so …I don’t know….hoity toity. I am a regular girl with a regular income and who believes that the arts are for everyone. I am a musician, and artist, and a teacher, and I believe that everyone should be educated about artistic expression, both creating and enjoying others’ creations. It’s NOT just for the rich or for the high brow educated…or for that matter, for the old (which I will address later in this little rant).
Growing up,my family didn’t have a lot of money, but we lived in a small town with a liberal arts college, and a small professional opera company that really,truly believed in art and art education for the masses. I often had the opportunity to see high quality productions and hear fantastic music just blocks from my home (literally- one block east, two blocks north). I thought this was normal. I still think it should be. The truth is that someone in my town, probably from the college, somewhere along the line must have decided that art really is for the people, and not only for the elite. I grew up going to both the opera and to the symphony…and also did regular teenager things like going to rock concerts and listening to pop music. Never once did they seem incompatible to me, and not once did concert going seem an odd activity for my working class family. I realize now in adulthood that my experience was probably abnormal, and yesterday I was particularly struck by the airs that people put on.
The subject matter of this opera in particular was poor “starving artists,” and indeed many if not most operas are about regular people. Mozart’s greatest works were poking fun of the aristocracy (Marriage of Figaro). The great opera composer, Guiseppe Verdi ,was a composer for the masses, and literally became a mascot for the Italian revolution. Regular folks. People who would never set foot in an American opera house today.
The other issue I have is the cost, which is such a difficult subject because certainly, so many people must be paid, however, I believe that if serious artists want to keep their audiences, something is going to have to be done about this. Karen and I were probably 2 of 10 people in the audience of 3500 under the age of 50, and I would venture to say that the majority of the audience was over 65. Opera is fast losing its audience …this generation will be gone in the next 20 years and those who are left will not have the education to appreciate it nor the means to attend.
There is a problem in the art world. I do not have an answer to propose, but I was faced with it head on yesterday and it made me very sad.
Oklahoma (not the state…the MUSICAL)
Tuesdays are hard. There is no way around it, they just are. I work, of course, and on Tuesdays I have second graders who always seem to be a challenging bunch (really, I think eight might be the age of child for whom I have the least tolerance – I’m not exactly sure what it is about them…or about me, but eight year olds TRY me)and then I teach privately…just from 3:00-7:00, but it’s enough to wear a girl out. This being said, as much as I would like to become one with the sofa and veg until I fall asleep, there is nothing interesting on television, and I truly am attempting to choose soul feeding activities as opposed to filling mine with junk. For some reason tonight, writing seems like a whole lot less work tonight than reading, so here I am.
OKLAHOMA Every year I do a musical with my 5th and 6th grade students. Last year we did an amusing take on Cinderella called The Return of the Glass Slipper (get it?) and I adored it. The previous year we did The Castaways, a show about orphans in turn of the century NYC . This year, however, I decided I wanted to do a REAL musical with my kids, something historical, a classic. I wanted to do something they would never forget. I wanted to do Oklahoma.
My friend Karen had just done it with her middle schoolers, and when I saw it, I knew that THIS was THE SHOW. I knew it would be hard, I knew there would be days that I would ask myself why in the world I ever thought this was a good idea, and I knew that for some students, this would be life changing. I was right on all counts.
SO, I talked my friend into letting me borrow her sets, talked my social worker into doing the choreography, and talked the faculty at my school into cleaning out their closets and sheds and bringing in costumes, props and stuff for the set…and the first week of schedule I held auditions. When all was said and done I had 49 kids in cast, ensemble, and assistant director positions.
For six and a half weeks we practiced. Hard. These fourth, fifth, and sixth graders two stepped and do-si-doed and learned to sing while doing it all. They practiced southern accents and stage fighting, and mimed talking in groups while action was going on at the other side of the stage. They learned the flow of the show, and they learned that if they didn’t change their assigned portion of the set at the right time, the lights would come up and part of Aunt Eller’s house would be where the Skidmore Ranch was supposed to be (not the whole thing, just part, which is worse!) They learned ballet steps, learned to project their voices, and learned how to pretend that the boy you have to touch does not have cooties (because of course when you are in fifth grade whether he actually does or not is yet to be determined).
And they grew. They really grew. And watching that transformation take place is the best part of my job.
If I’m honest, I have to tell you that it was not a walk in the park. I had issues with parents, kids were who consistently picked up late (no, no, not five minutes…up to an hour!), and behavior issues. There were days it was gruelling, but it was SO, so worth it. Doing a show like this is about so much more than just putting on some cute entertainment. ..especially with kids from the poverty culture. Each moment must be a teaching moment. Music and theatre are used as a vehicle to teach life skills: self control, responsibility, initiative, respect…basic things(remember, we’re talking about a group of kids who for the most part haven’t been taught these things at home).
I know a boy who has grown up with a drug addicted mom in a ramshackle apartment, and is late to school every single day. It is his responsibility to get his two sisters fed, dressed, and ready for school before they can all three get out the door. I saw this boy act, sing, and dance in front of his peers and an auditorium full of adults with confidence. He was proud of himself. I don’t think I have ever been more proud of anyone.
I saw a girl who barely speaks English and whose parents speak none, show up for rehearsal every day because she wanted to be my helper. She ran errands, ran the cd player, organized the props, and served as my right hand gal. I truly don’t know what I would have done without her. When one of our girls who had a role had to quit, this girl said,” I know her part. I think I can do it…please let me try!” And she was amazing. I get a little teary even thinking about her.
And those are just two of the stories. It sounds so cliche’ to say it, but I mean it to my guts when I say that each one of them, all 49, is so special, so unique in their own way. They all have their own take on life, their own struggles, their own stories. And each of them has a little piece of my heart. I am blessed, truly blessed, and grateful that God has allowed me to be a part of their lives. I believe with all of my heart that this is one of the things that I was created to do and while there are days it makes me crazy, I know that right now this is my purpose and God’s calling on my life.
Earlier this week I referenced Isaiah 61 and my need to unpack and apply it to my own life. Verses three and four say this:
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
This is my prayer for my students. That their hearts would be healed, that they would rebuild the foundations of their families and this city, and that they would be the person to step up and stop the cycle of abuse,poverty, and generational sin. I pray that they would indeed become “oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.”
Amen.
I can not kick this cold!
I woke up miserable again this morning. Actually I was up miserable twice last night. I’m pretty sure I don’t have an infection because I don’t have a fever or any of the other tell tale signs (we don’t need to discuss the details here) and I just have a mild cough, but this is getting OLD.
On another note, yesterday I cleaned. My kitchen and bathroom once again sparkle, with the exception of my awful laminate floor (whoever decided that putting little divets in linoleum flooring to trap dirt should be shot! Getting it truly clean involves me on my hands and knees with a bottle of cleanser and some steel woold! It’s one of my biggest pet peeves!)
Part of the FlyLady system of keeping your house company presentable is doing a bathroom “swish and swipe” every morning. In other words, as part of your a.m. routine, you wipe your kitchen sink and swish out the toilet with a toilet brush. Not a big deal, but if you do it every day, you don’t really have to deep clean your bathroom as much. Yea!
Now I need to start tackling the paperwork monster. That really is my weakest area. I just feel so overwhelmed by it. And taxes are coming up soon so I need to get a handle on it. ARGHH! One step at a time is so hard for me.
I am not feeling very inspired today. I have to teach kindergarten this morning which I do not really like, and then I teach privately tonight, which I don’t normally mind, I’m just not in the mood.
On a happier note though, I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving! We (my school district) get a little extra time off this year, which creates a little margin that I am really excited about. Normally only Thursday and Friday are release days. This year the students get the whole week, and teachers get Wednesay, Thursday, and Friday. Yea!
